Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Crossovers I Would Write For Free*

I try not to be nostalgic for the era of comics that was going on when I started reading them as a kid. Mainly because it was the speculator driven boom of the late 80s-early 90s. That said, I do kind of miss the intercompany crossovers that were so rampant around that time (and before that, sure, but it would ruin my opening joke to acknowledge that. Crap!). Mainly because we'll probably never see the combinations I'd really want to see. Sure, most of those comics were pretty bad, and these probably wouldn't be any better, but I'd be sort of interested in seeing them done. And isn't that what's important. So, I throw this out there for the comics companies and creators who would own the trademarks; I, an unpublished blogger, would be more than willing to write any or all of these crossover comics for free. If any of you have the guts, you will take me up on it, and you will reap the benefits of meager at best sales and further tarnishing of your intellectual properties!

Batman/Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Batman tracks R'as Al Ghul to a small California town called Sunnydale and learns that he's in cahoots with some punk rock vampire named Spike in an attempt to summon a demon that will cleanse the Earth of 90% of its population. With Robin, Nightwing, et al., preoccupied with keeping Gotham from going further to hell and the JLA in a parallel dimension fighting blood thirsty robot mimes, Batman has to go it alone against an army of vampires and Ra's's thugs. Until a wise cracking teenage girl comes to his aid... I would also mix in all kinds of geek out fanservice moments, like Willow and Oracle meeting in a chat room,Buffy making fun of Talia's hair do, and Cordelia getting a crush on Nightwing.

Preacher and Hellboy- Take two of comics most unique characters, Jesse Custer and Hellboy, and make them engage in one of the most cliched stories possible; the classic misunderstanding-fight-team-up plot. With a twist! The misunderstanding will be Hellboy thinking Jesse's a demon. Fairly standard, right? But wait! The fight will involve Jesse telling Hellboy to shove his red right hand up his ass, but Jesse eventually bonding with him when he sees how Hellboy's a real man after taking a horrible beating. The team-up will be a round of drinking at the local watering hole, leading to a bar fight. Jesse may also give a speech about how much he loves America. C'mon, Mignola, Ennis, and Dillon; let me sully your greatest creations!**

X-Men vs. New Avengers- Sure, this wouldn't be special. Except for when they fight and Wolverine has no idea what to do.***

*-I wouldn't say no to getting Kelly Jones's phone number, though. I bet she's a real fox!
**-That would mean I'd want to use Detecive Soap and the Amazing Screw On Head, too. Maybe Jennie Finn to make it completely impossible.
***- Okay, I stole this from someone at Fanboy Rampage.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm still mildly surprised that DC and Dark Horse never tried the single most logical Batman/Buffy crossover - having Xander dress as Batman for Halloween.

1/05/2006 2:50 PM  

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